2 verses playing a friendly game of Mario Party to decide who tops

(sees a coyote running in a field) I’m calling the police

Mastodon but it doesn’t let you post if someone else already posted that

A coyote was reported running through a field. Nothing was done as that is what coyotes do.

do you want lashes with more volume? 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this book about Chernobyl, it’s that the soviets were much better at naming things

I regret to inform you all that at approx. 8:15 AM, PST, Richard Dawkins accidentally lit a match inside a darkened room full of crates of dynamite. His last words were "Gulp! Me and my big ideas..." before a loud KABLOOEY was heard throughout the surrounding area. At press time, all that's now left of Richard Dawkins is a pair of exasperated-looking blinking cartoon eyeballs on a large pile of ash. Doctors have swept up the ash pile and claim he may make it, assuming a fade-out to another gag.

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